Beardie News From Bo

Beardie News From Bolivia


10.05.1994

Another chronicle from Bolivia.  Last weekend we went on a trip to a city called Santa Cruz which is in eastern Bolivia.  It was quite a while since I had been in town, so we had to get all spruced up for the occasion, and I had to wear my town lead.  It's a funny thing about these leads:  I know that when I am wearing this blue one I have to behave nicely and walk sedately and not run around.  I get to do that with my other lead when we go out for walks where I can't run free.  

We checked into a nice hotel with a lovely garden.  My Dad had arranged this with the owner beforehand, and she said we could come in.  We were the first dogs ever to be allowed to stay at this hotel, but you have to use your influence now and again.  The point is that the owner's father, who was the founder of the hotel, came from the same place as my Dad, so we got to stay in the rooms.  They were very comfortable, I must say,  air-conditioning and all.  The only complaint I have about staying at hotels is that you have to be as quiet as a mouse - no barking or anything like that.  I suppose it's a small sacrifice to make.  If not, we would have had to stay in the car or in the laundry-room.  Better just to keep quiet, I think.

On the Saturday afternoon we went out to a street market.  My Goodness, what a lot of people!  There were thousands of them milling around all over the place.  I just kept my nose well in near my Mum's knees and that way nobody stepped on me.  Poor Paddy (he's a Heinz 57 with some Shih Tsu) is such a midget that he had to be carried around for his own safety.  It was hot too, so we bought a bottle of water and I had a long drink. They sell everything at these markets.  It all comes in as contraband from Brazil.  I was keeping a weather eye out for my Pedigree Chum, but I didn't see any.  Our supply seems to have dried up and now we get this other stuff, which is O.K. but not so appetising as the Pedigree.  

On the Sunday we went along to this very posh school with terrific gardens and sports pitches of every description. There were loads of people there and lo and behold! lots of dogs too.  After a while the penny dropped: this must be one of these dog shows I heard them talking about.  I have been to a little "friendly" show at Montero (not too far from Santa Cruz) and I won first prize, but this looked like it was going to be the real McCoy.  We met Mrs. Gottschalk who had taken care of all the registration procedures for me.  Being country bumpkins we can't do all these things ourselves.  

I can't understand why all these people crowd me out when we go places.  Here they all wanted to know if we had a "pair" and if we were going to have puppies and could they have one if we did.  I don't understand any of this, but I think we are just fine the way we are.  At least three people wanted puppies within the first five minutes.  I suppose it's flattering for me but I don't think it's a good idea.


Well, the show was supposed to begin at midday with a monographic German Shepherd class, but at 12 o'clock everybody upped and went away.  Funny how things never seem to happen they way they say they will.  We just found ourselves a nice breezy place and sat down to wait.  I had a lie down (it was my siesta time) and people-watched under my fringe. Didn't get much peace though, because all these mothers kept coming up and asking if their precious Juanito or whatever could have a photograph taken with me and then I would have to sit up and smile at the camera.  Next thing the newspaper photographer arrived and wanted to take my photo and have my "details".  There was a plus side to all this because my people could see how well I behaved and how badly lots of other dogs behaved.  There were a couple of German Shepherds who just barked and barked for hours and then a Rottweiller spotted them, took an instant dislike to them and started barking.  Unfortunately for us, we were in the middle of the two lots. I just kept a low profile.

Our class was supposed to start at 2p.m. but nobody turned up till that time and then they had to start making all their arrangements, like giving out numbers and things.  Of course the German Shepherds, which should have gone on in the morning, had to go on first, so we all had to wait.  I suppose I should have known better.  After all, this is Bolivia and nothing ever goes smoothly here. Well, it was long after 3p.m. when the German Shepherds started and we were all getting a bit anxious because we have a very long drive back (more than four hours) and we didn't want to be caught on the "road" (that's a bit optimistic) in the dark, particularly the bit that isn't surfaced and is more like the Sahara desert.  

The judge was a lady called Mrs. Blum from Brazil.  There are lots of people of German stock in Brazil.  After a few G.Ss. had paraded about and up and down I could see her shaking her head and she sent them all out again.  They had got all the categories mixed up, so they had to start all over. That happened twice.  I could see she was getting a bit rattled, but she seemed to know her business and was kind to the dogs.  There were lots of German Shepherds so that took a while.

After that, we had Old English Sheepdogs and Caucasian Sheepdogs.  Poor OESs, particularly one of them.  It had been up on that grooming table for hours: backcombing, hair lacquer, preening and brushing and  the owner looked like a right idiot prancing about like a prima donna.  I really don't know how these poor dogs stand it.  They must have the patience of Job.  Don't know that I could be doing with it, though.  

Then it was my turn.  We had done a bit of grooming and so forth ourselves (nothing too exaggerated, mind you), so I was looking  fairly good, no knots or anything like that, nice beard and moustache.  We did our first circuit and then up and down.  The judge spoke to us in Portuguese first of all, but when she heard my Mum speaking to me in Engish she spoke to me in English after that. I didn't jump up on her like I did at that first show, so I must be learning something.  She was quite nice the judge lady, but I don't know why she had to open my mouth and put her fingers in it and rub them around.  Only my people do that to me when I am getting brushed and having my ears and teeth cleaned.  But that was nothing in comparison to what she did next.  Imagine the indignity of it!  She lifted my tail up and began ferreting around underneath it.  I couldn't believe it.  All I can say is that she was gentle and then she smiled at me and asked me to do another circuit.


I was just trotting around minding my own business when I spotted Paddy and my Dad and a couple of friends who had come with us, Filippo and Monica.  I couldn't not acknowledge their presence, could I? so I turned my head around and wagged my tail at them.  I think you're not supposed to do that, but never mind.  All the people were applauding like mad, so I can't have been all that bad.  

It's just a pity that the thing started so late because we had to leave straight after my first performance, so I don't know what would have happened next.  Anyway, I think they were pretty pleased with me and, although I say so myself, I think I put on a passable performance, particularly for a novice.  Maybe we'll go to some more of these events.  I hope they start on time in future.


Willowmead Simply a Star
In future I'll just sign with my real name - Simon.  Hope that's O.K.